Forgiven and Forgiving

This page is for you, the parent or teacher — not for the child.

Fifteen studies, five weekdays a week, three weeks. One short passage a day. It is built to be a child’s whole Bible time for the day and to take fifteen or twenty minutes, not an hour.

This is the third of the six thematic plans. Read the days in order — the first half is mostly about being forgiven, and only then does the plan ask a child to forgive anybody. A child who is told to forgive before they have felt forgiven has been handed a rule, not a reason.

The shape of one day

1. Read the passage out loud. Twice. You read it the first time. Let the child read it the second time if they can.
2. Close the Bible and have them tell it back in their own words. This is the step everybody skips, and it is the one that does the work. If it comes out thin, read it again and let them try again. Don’t correct the retelling into a lecture — just ask, “what happened next?”
3. Ask the four questions. Let the silence sit. A seven-year-old needs longer to answer than you think, and the first thing they say is usually not the thing they mean.
4. Help them land one “I will.” Small and real beats big and vague.
5. Pray. The prayer under each day is there if they want it; their own words are better. Pray at the end, not the start — it’s a response to what they found, not a hint about what they were supposed to find.

The four questions

Every day, the same four:

1. What does this show me about God?
2. What does it show me about people — and about me?
3. What will I obey this week?
4. Who will I tell?

Under each day you’ll find a kid-sized version of each one. Use those if the standard wording goes over their head; use the standard four once they can carry them. They are the same questions the adults’ plans use, on purpose — a child who learns these four can walk into any Bible study for the rest of their life.

Don’t teach it

The strongest instinct you will have is to explain. Resist it. The moment you start teaching, the child stops discovering, and you have replaced a skill they could keep with an answer they will forget.

If they say something that isn’t in the passage, don’t correct it — ask, kindly: “Where do you see that in the story?” Let them go back and look.

Two things forgiving is not

Say both of these out loud, early — around day 3 — and again whenever they are needed. A child who learns forgiveness without them learns something dangerous.

Forgiving is not pretending it didn’t happen. Joseph tells his brothers, to their faces, you meant it for harm. He does not soften it, excuse it, or call it a misunderstanding. He names the real thing and forgives the real thing. “It’s fine” is not forgiveness — it is a child learning that the truth is less important than the peace in the room. If someone hurt your child, let them say so plainly. You can’t forgive something you aren’t allowed to name.

Forgiving is not staying where you are being hurt. David forgives Saul in the cave — and then leaves, and keeps his distance for years, because Saul was still dangerous. That is in the Bible on purpose. A child who is being bullied, hit, or frightened by someone must never be told that forgiving means going back and letting it happen again. Forgiving is what you do with your own heart. Staying safe is a separate decision, and yours to help them make.

If your child is being hurt by someone right now, deal with that first. This plan can wait; their safety cannot.

Where the plan is going

• Days 1–3 — being forgiven by a person, in a family, with the wrong named out loud. Esau runs. Joseph tells the truth and forgives it anyway.
• Days 4–8 — being forgiven by God. Moses stands in the gap, David is let off, Psalm 51 asks for a clean heart rather than an escape, and a whole enemy city gets mercy.
• Days 9–10, 12 — the people who did not want to forgive. This is where a child who is angry gets to find themselves in the text.
• Days 11, 13–15 — what forgiving looks like when it costs. The father runs, a despised woman is defended in public, Jesus forgives from the cross, and Stephen dies praying the same prayer.

Days 9 and 12 are the point, not filler

Jonah is furious that God let his enemies off. The older brother stands outside his own family’s party, arms folded, absolutely correct and completely miserable.

Most children, at some point in these three weeks, will be one of those two. If yours says “but it isn’t fair” — good. Don’t argue them out of it, and don’t rush to correct it. That sentence is the honest beginning of the whole subject, and both of those chapters end with God still talking gently to the angry one. Notice that out loud: God does not walk away from the one who won’t forgive.

When they say they can’t

They may be right, today. Forgiving something real is not a decision a child can make by deciding harder, and pushing produces the words without the thing.

Three answers that help more than pressure:

• “You don’t have to feel it yet. Would you be willing to pray for them by name?” Praying for someone by name is the smallest real step there is, and it works on the person praying.
• “What would it look like if you had forgiven them?” Naming it is easier than doing it, and it gives them somewhere to aim.
• “I find that one hard too.” Then say which one. Going first is worth more than anything you can explain.

Making the “I will” real

Put a name in it and a day on it.

✗ “I’ll forgive more.” ✓ “On Saturday I’m going to ask Mateo to play again instead of staying angry about the bike.”

Then ask about it the next day, before you read. Did you do it? Who did you tell? Asking is what turns this from a reading plan into a habit of obeying.

Ages, and mixed ages

Written for roughly ages 6–12. A six-year-old will need you to read it and will answer in one sentence; an eleven-year-old can read it themselves and write their answers down. If you have both at the table, read once for everybody and let them answer at their own depth. Don’t split them up — the younger ones learn how to answer by hearing the older ones do it.

Day 15 (Stephen) is the heaviest day for a young child. Read it plainly, don’t dwell on the detail, and let their questions decide how far you go.

Repeats from the other plans

Nathan and David (day 6) also appears in Telling the Truth, and Joseph’s brothers turn up in the storyline plans. That is on purpose — a child meets a story once and hears something different the second time. If they say “we did this one,” ask what it shows about God anyway, then ask what is different about reading it as a story about forgiving.

If you miss a day

Pick up where you left off. Fifteen studies is fifteen studies whether it takes three weeks or five. Whatever you start, finish.