When you want to love God but don't know how

By now you may be thinking: I want this. I want to love God for who He is. I just don’t know how. That’s an honest place, and it’s further along than it sounds. Wanting to love Him is already a kind of love.

You can’t force a feeling. But there are things you can do, and love tends to grow along them. Here are six.

1. Be honest with God

Tell Him exactly where you are. Something like:

“God, I want to love You, but I don’t know how yet. I want to know You for who You are. Help me.”

He isn’t offended by that prayer. He’s been waiting for it.

2. Get to know God in His Word

When you read, ask the question from chapter five: What is this passage showing me about who God is? Read for Him, not just for instructions.

3. Spend time with God without asking for anything

Once in a while, come to Him with no list. Read, worship, thank Him, think about Him, simply because you want to know Him. If that feels strange, notice that. It may be the first time you’ve come to Him with empty hands on purpose.

4. Remember what God has done

Don’t just remember His gifts. Look for His character behind them. The time He provided shows His faithfulness. The time He didn’t give up on you shows His patience. The time He forgave you shows His mercy. Every gift tells you something about the Giver.

5. Obey, even when your feelings aren’t there yet

Scripture — John 14:15, 21 (OTB)

For if you love me, you will obey my commands. … Whoever has my commandments and keeps them is the one who loves me. The one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and reveal myself to them.

Look at the promise at the end: the one who obeys is the one to whom Jesus reveals Himself. Obedience isn’t only what love does. It’s one of the ways love grows. You do the next thing He says, and in the doing you come to know Him. That isn’t legalism; it’s love in action.

6. Learn to notice His work in ordinary days

At the end of the day, ask three questions:

• Where did I see God’s goodness today?
• What did I learn about Him today?
• Where am I learning to trust Him?

The answers will be small. A kindness, a provision, a moment of peace. Small is how it starts.

Choose one

Don’t try all six this week. Pick one, the one you’ll actually do, and give it a day.

Recite this

I can’t force love. I can come near, and obey the next thing.

Try it this week

The practice I choose is ________________. My first step will be ________________, on ________________, and I’ll tell ________________ that I did it.